I-20 ibaluleke kakhulu ukutolikwa kwephupha malunga nomntu omthandayo ukuthetha nawe ephupheni, ngokutsho kuka-Ibn Sirin.

Ukutolikwa kwephupha malunga nomntu omthandayo ukuthetha nawe

Xa umntu ephupha umntu amthandayo kwaye ethetha naye, eli phupha lithathwa njengelinye lamaphupha avuselela umdla kunye nomdla kwabaninzi, njengoko abantu befuna iinkcazo zolu hlobo lwephupha elihlala ezingqondweni zabo kwaye livusa iimvakalelo zabo.
La maphupha anokuba nempembelelo enkulu kumntu ngokwakhe kwaye abonise umyalezo othile omele uqondwe ngokuchanekileyo.

1. ubudlelwane bothando: Ukuba umntu aphupha ngaye ngumntu amthandayo ngokwenene ebomini, iphupha linokuba yimbonakaliso yomnqweno wokudibanisa naye ngokweemvakalelo.
2. Ukuziva ungekho: Iphupha lokuthetha nomntu othandekayo linokuba ngumqondiso wokulangazelela kunye nokuziva ngathi u-nostalgia kuye, ngakumbi ukuba incoko ephupheni ithatha ifom ekhululekile kwaye eyonwabisayo.
3. Umnqweno wokuqondaUkuthetha ephupheni kunokufuzisela umnqweno womntu wokunxibelelana nokuqonda kakuhle iingcamango zomntu omthandayo.
4. Imingeni yangokuUkuthetha nomntu othandekayo ephupheni kunokubonakalisa imingeni kunye neengxaki umntu ophuphayo ajongene nazo ebomini bakhe, apho unokufuna inkxaso yeqabane okanye umthandi.

Ukutolikwa kwephupha malunga nomntu othanda ukuthetha nawe ngu-Ibn Sirin

1. Isalathiso sonxibelelwano lweemvakalelo: Ukubona umntu omthandayo ethetha nawe ephupheni kunokuba luphawu lomnqweno wakho wokunxibelelana ngokweemvakalelo nalo mntu.
   Eli phupha lingabonakalisa umnqweno wakho onzulu wokumxelela iimvakalelo zakho kunye neengcinga zakho ngokukhululekileyo.
2. Ukuphucula ubudlelwane: Ukuba umntu omthandayo uthetha nawe ngoncumo okanye ehleka ephupheni, oku kungabonakalisa umnqweno wakho wokuphucula ubudlelwane phakathi kwakho kunye nokwandisa ulonwabo kunye nolonwabo kunxibelelwano.
3. Ukunyaniseka kweemvakalelo: Ngokutsho kwenkcazo ka-Ibn Sirin, umntu omthandayo ukuthetha nawe ephupheni unokufanekisela ukunyaniseka kweemvakalelo phakathi kwakho kunye nobukho bokunyaniseka nokunyaniseka kubudlelwane.
4. Umnqweno wokusondela: Eli phupha lingafuzisela umnqweno wakho onzulu wokusondela kumntu omthandayo kunye nokwakha ubudlelwane obuqinileyo kunye obuqinileyo kunye naye.
5. Iminqweno yexesha elizayo: Ukubona umntu omthandayo ethetha nawe ephupheni kunokuba luphawu lweminqweno yakho yekamva ekwakheni ubudlelwane obunempumelelo nobuneziqhamo kunye naye.

Ukutolikwa kwephupha kumfazi ongatshatanga

Xa umfazi ongatshatanga ephupha umntu amthandayo ukuthetha naye, eli phupha lithathwa njengophawu oluhle kwinqanaba leemvakalelo kunye nelomntu.
Eli phupha lisenokubonisa ubunzulu bobudlelwane kunye nobuhlobo onabo nalo mntu, okanye lisenokubonisa i-nostalgia ovakalelwa ngayo kuye.
Ungakhathazeki ukuba ubona umntu omthandayo ephupheni lakho ngaphezu kwesihlandlo esinye, njengoko oku kunokuba luphawu lokuqinisekisa uthando kunye nonxibelelwano phakathi kwakho.

Ukutolikwa kwephupha malunga nomntu omthandayo ukuthetha nawe kubonisa ubunzulu beemvakalelo zakho zothando kunye nentlonipho kulo mntu.
Lo mbono unokuba bubungqina bokuba uphila kwimeko yolonwabo nokwaneliseka kubukho balo mntu ebomini bakho.
Camngca ngeli phupha kwaye uzame ukukhupha izinto ezintle kulo ukuze ukhulise ukuzithemba kwakho kunye nobudlelwane bakho nabanye.

Ukutolikwa kwephupha malunga nomntu omthandayo ukuthetha nawe kumfazi otshatileyo

• Ubunzulu bobuhlobo: Iphupha malunga nomntu omthandayo ngokuqhelekileyo libonisa ubunzulu bonxibelelwano kunye nobudlelwane boluntu obudibanisa nalo mntu ebomini bokwenene.
  Ukuba utshatile, eli phupha linokuqinisekisa amandla obudlelwane bomtshato kunye nobuhlobo obuqinileyo phakathi kwakho.
• Thatha inyathelo: Ukubona umntu omthandayo ethetha nawe ephupheni kunokubonakalisa injongo yomphuphi kunye nomnqweno wokunxibelelana kunye nokusebenzisana ngakumbi nalo mntu kubomi bemihla ngemihla.
  Oku kunokuba yimpembelelo yokuthatha amanyathelo amatsha kubudlelwane.
• Ummeli wobomi bomtshato: Ukuba utshatile kwaye uphupha umntu omthandayo ukuthetha nawe, oku kunokuba lufaniso lokuphucula unxibelelwano kunye nokuqonda emtshatweni, kwaye mhlawumbi luphawu lokusondela kwamaxesha amnandi okanye izigqibo ezibalulekileyo ebomini bomtshato.
• Umnqweno wokunxibelelana: Ukubona umntu omthandayo ethetha nawe ephupheni kunokubonakalisa umnqweno wakho onzulu wokunxibelelana kunye nokuvula amajelo amatsha okuqonda kunye nonxibelelwano olusebenzayo kubomi bemihla ngemihla.

Ukutolikwa kwephupha malunga nomntu othanda ukuthetha nawe kumfazi okhulelweyo

I-1- Ukubonakaliswa komnqweno ofihliweyo: Mhlawumbi iphupha lomntu omthandayo ukuthetha nawe luyimbonakaliso yomnqweno wakho onzulu wokunxibelelana naye ngokucacileyo okanye ukufikelela kuye ngcono.

I-2- Ukubonakalisa umdla: Ukuphupha ngomntu omthandayo ukuthetha nawe kunokuba yimbonakaliso yomdla wakhe kuwe kunye nomnqweno wakhe wokunxibelelana kunye nokusebenzisana nawe kwinqanaba elinzulu.

I-3- Isidingo sokunxibelelana: Ngamanye amaxesha, iphupha liza njengesikhumbuzo sokubaluleka kokunxibelelana kunye nokusebenzisana nabantu esibathandayo, nokuba ngokweemvakalelo okanye ngokwengqondo.

Ukutolikwa kwephupha malunga nomntu omthandayo ukuthetha nawe ngomfazi oqhawule umtshato

1.
Ukuvakalisa iimvakalelo: Iphupha linokuthi lifanekisela umnqweno womntu wokunxibelelana nomntu amthandayo kunye nokuvakalisa iimvakalelo zakhe kuye.

2.
Ukuziva usondelene ngokomzwelo: Iphupha lingabonakalisa imvakalelo yokusondelana ngokomzwelo kunye nomntu othandekayo kunye nomnqweno wokunxibelelana nokuqonda.

3.
Ukubonakalisa umdla: Iphupha lingabonakalisa umdla womntu kumfazi oqhawule umtshato kunye nomnqweno wakhe wokumnceda okanye ukumxhasa kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo.

4.
Unxibelelwano lweemvakalelo: Iphupha lingabonakalisa umnqweno wokwakha ubudlelwane beemvakalelo okanye ukomeleza ubudlelwane obukhoyo phakathi komntu kunye nomfazi oqhawule umtshato.

5.
Ukuzimisela ukunceda: Iphupha lingabonakalisa ukuzimisela komntu ukuxhasa umfazi oqhawule umtshato kuyo nayiphi na ingxaki okanye imingeni anokujamelana nayo ebomini bakhe.

6.
Ukucinga ngobudlelwane obudlulileyo: Iphupha linokuba sisikhumbuzo sobudlelwane obudlulileyo obunokuba nefuthe leemvakalelo emntwini.

7.
Isidingo sokuxolela kunye nokuvumela: Iphupha lingabonakalisa isidingo sokuxolela kunye nokuvumela ixesha elidlulileyo kwaye ucinge ukunika ithuba elitsha.

8.
Ukuziva ungowabanye: Iphupha lisenokubonakalisa imvakalelo yokuba ungowoluntu okanye iqela ngonxibelelwano nabanye.

9.
Isidingo sokukhululeka ngokweemvakalelo: Iphupha lisenokubonisa imfuneko yokukhululeka ngokweemvakalelo ngokuthetha nomntu omthandayo okanye omthembileyo.

10.
Umnqweno wokunxibelelana kunye nokuqonda: Iphupha lingafuzisela umnqweno wokunxibelelana nokuqonda nabanye kunye nokwakha ubudlelwane obunempilo kunye obuqinileyo.

Ukutolikwa kwephupha malunga nomntu omthandayo ukuthetha nawe ngendoda

1. Ikhowudi yonxibelelwano:
   Ukuphupha uthetha nomntu omthandayo kunokuba luphawu lomnqweno wakho wokunxibelelana naye ngokwenyani, mhlawumbi ubonakalise umnqweno wakho wokwabelana ngeemvakalelo zakho okanye ude ubacebise.
2. Ukufezekisa iinjongo kunye nokhuseleko lweemvakalelo:
   Ngokutsho kwengcaciso yabanye abaphengululi, kukholelwa ukuba ukubona umntu omthandayo ephupheni kubonisa ukufezekiswa kweenjongo kunye neminqweno oyifunayo, kwaye kubonisa ubungakanani bomnqweno wokhuseleko kunye nokukhuselwa ngokweemvakalelo.
3. Isilumkiso ngokuchasene nokuphazamiseka kunye neengxabano:
   Ukuba uthethe nomntu omthandayo ngokuvakalayo ephupheni, oku kusenokuba luphawu lweengxaki onokujamelana nazo kubomi bentsapho yakho okanye ulwalamano lwakho nabanye.
4. Ubungqina bokuzinikela kunye nokunyaniseka:
   Ukuphupha umntu omthandayo ukuthetha nawe kunokuba bubungqina bobudlelwane obuqinileyo kunye nomdla wokuthatha amanyathelo okuphuhlisa ubudlelwane kunye nokwandisa intlonipho kunye nokunyaniseka phakathi kwakho.

Ukutolikwa kwephupha malunga nomntu omthandayo ukukuhoya

1. Ukungazithembi: Lo mbono usenokubonisa ukungazithembi okanye ukoyika ukusabela komntu omthandayo enyanisweni.
2. Kufuneka ingqalelo: Ukuphupha ungamhoyi umntu omthandayo kunokuba luphawu lokuba ufuna ukuhoywa ngakumbi kunye nokuvuma iimvakalelo zakho.
3. Ukuziphatha komntu ngokwenyaniKungenzeka ukuba iphupha liyimbonakaliso yokuziphatha komntu ebomini bokwenene, okanye isibonakaliso sokutshintsha kobudlelwane okufuneka buhlaziywe.

Ukutolikwa kwephupha malunga nokubona umntu omthandayo ongathethi nawe

Ukuphupha ukubona umntu omthandayo ongathethi nawe kuthathwa njengophawu olubalulekileyo kwihlabathi lokutolika amaphupha kwaye lithwala iintsingiselo ezininzi ezinokuthi zibe neentsingiselo ezinzulu kumanqanaba ovakalelo nangokwengqondo.
Lo mbono udla ngokuqulatha iimvakalelo zokuxhalaba kunye noxinzelelo olunokuba ngunobangela weengxaki zobudlelwane okanye ubunzima obujongene nomntu.

• Imbonakalo yombono:
  Ukubona umthandi ethule kungabonakalisa ukuba umphuphi ujongene nemingeni okanye iingxaki kubudlelwane, kwaye mhlawumbi isidingo sokunxibelelana nokuqonda izinto ezibalulekileyo.
• Intsingiselo yovakalelo:
  Lo mbono usenokubonisa ukubakho kwengxabano okanye ukuqhawuka konxibelelwano phakathi kwakho nomntu omthandayo, kwaye isenokuba yimiqondiso yokungahambelani kweminye imiba ebalulekileyo.
• Ubungakanani bengqondo:
  Eli phupha libandakanya inkcazo yesidingo sokucinga ngokucokisekileyo malunga nemeko yobudlelwane obukhoyo kwaye ujonge izisombululo zobunzima obunokwenzeka.
• Izikhokelo zobuqu:
  Ukuphindaphinda eli phupha kunokuba ngumqondiso kumntu ngamnye ukuba akhathazeke ngakumbi ngemibandela yonxibelelwano kunye nesidingo sokuphucula indlela yokunxibelelana kunye nokuvula imijelo yeengxoxo.
• isiphelo:
  Ngokubanzi, ukubona umntu omthandayo ethule ephupheni isilumkiso malunga nokubaluleka konxibelelwano olucacileyo nolucacileyo kunye nonxibelelwano kubudlelwane obusondeleyo kunye nokukhuthaza ukuqonda kweemvakalelo kunye neemfuno phakathi kwamaqela omabini.

Ukutolikwa kwephupha malunga nokubona umntu omthandayo ukusuka kwelinye icala

1. ukwahlukana ngokweemvakalelo: Ukubona umntu omthandayo engaziva ngendlela efanayo kungabonakalisa ixhala okanye uloyiko lokuphulukana nobudlelwane beemvakalelo phakathi kwenu.
2. Intliziyo kunye neentlungu: Lo mbono unokubonakalisa iimvakalelo zosizi kunye neentlungu ezibangelwa ngamava exesha elidlulileyo okanye ngenxa yokungazalisekisi iphupha lokunxulumana nomntu ekuthethwa ngaye.
3. Ukucinga nzulu: Ukubona umntu omthandayo engaziqondi iimvakalelo zakho kunokubonisa imfuneko yokucinga nzulu ngobudlelwane obukungqongileyo kwaye uveze iimvakalelo zakho ngokucacileyo.
4. Umnqweno wokunxibelelana: Lo mbono usenokubonisa umnqweno wakho onzulu wokunxibelelana nomntu ekuthethwa ngaye kwaye uqonde ngcono isimo sakhe sengqondo neengcinga zakhe.
5. Umngeni kunye nophuhliso: Ngamanye amaxesha, ukutolikwa kokubona umntu omthandayo kwicala elinye kunokubonisa imfuno yakho yomngeni kunye nokukhula komntu ngokujongana nemingeni yothando.

Ukutolikwa kwephupha malunga nomntu omthandayo ukutshata nomnye umntu

1. Uziva unomona kwaye uxinezelekileUkuba ibhinqa elingatshatanga liphupha ngeli phupha, iphupha lingabonisa imvakalelo yomona okanye ingxabano kubudlelwane nomntu omthandayo.
2. Amathandabuzo nokungathembani: Iphupha lisenokuba luphawu lwamathandabuzo okanye ukungathembani kubudlelwane, nokuba liqabane elinokubakho okanye kuwe nakwisakhono sakho sokutsala uthando nengqalelo.
3. Ukoyika ilahlekoUkutshata nomnye umntu ephupheni kunokubonakalisa uloyiko olunzulu lokuphulukana nethuba kubomi bothando, kunye nokuxhalaba malunga nokungaphumeleli ulonwabo lweemvakalelo olufunwayo.
4. Inkululeko ngokweemvakalelo: Eli phupha linokubonwa njengethuba lokukhululwa kweemvakalelo kunye nokucinga malunga neendlela zokufumana ulonwabo kunye nokuzinza kungakhathaliseki ukuba bunjani ubudlelwane obukhoyo.

Ukutolikwa kwephupha malunga nomntu omthandayo ukuthetha nawe kunye noncumo

Ngokuphathelele ukutolikwa kwephupha malunga nomntu omthandayo ukuthetha nawe kunye nokumomotheka, eli phupha liphethe iintsingiselo ezintle ezibonisa uvuyo kunye nethemba.
U-Ibn Sirin kunye nezinye i-hermeneutics zicinga ukuba ukubona umntu omthandayo esebenzisana nawe ngothando kunye nokumomotheka ephupheni kubonisa izinto ezintle ezizayo kunye novuyo oluza kuzalisa ubomi bakho.

1. Uvuyo nethembaUmntu othandekayo ephupheni ufuzisela uvuyo kunye nethemba elinokungena ebomini bakho.
2. Nxibelelana kwaye usondeleIncoko yomntu omthandayo kunye nawe kunye noncumo lwakhe lubonisa ukusondela kwakhe kuwe kunye nomnqweno wakhe wokunxibelelana kunye nokusebenzisana okuhle.
3. Ukuzuza amabhongo kunye nempumelelo: Ngokuka-Ibn Sirin, lo mbono ubonakala emaphupheni ukubonisa ukufikelela kwiinjongo kunye nempumelelo kwiinkalo ezahlukeneyo zobomi.

Ukutolikwa kwephupha malunga nomntu obambe isandla sam ngothando

1. Isimboli seemvakalelo: Ukuphupha ukubamba isandla somnye umntu ephupheni luphawu lokunxibelelana ngokweemvakalelo kunye nonxibelelwano olunamandla ngokweemvakalelo phakathi kwabantu ababini.
   Lo mbono usenokubonisa ulwalamano oluhle oluzaliswe ziimvakalelo ezisondeleleneyo nezothando.
2. Ubuhlobo kunye nentsebenziswano: Ngokutolikwa kweengcali zokutolika amaphupha, ukubona umntu obambe isandla sakho unokufuzisela ubuhlobo kunye nentsebenziswano kubudlelwane.
   Lo mbono unokuba bubungqina bonxibelelwano lweemvakalelo okanye ubuhlobo obuqinileyo obukunxulumanisa nomntu othile.
3. Umbono ophazamisayo: Nangona iintsingiselo ezintle ezinokuthi zithwale lo mbono, ingaba ngumqondiso wembono engalunganga okanye ebuhlungu, ngakumbi ukuba ubudlelwane obumelelwe ephupheni budibene neenkumbulo ezimbi okanye iimvakalelo.
4. Uphawu oluhle: Ukubona umntu onothando endibambe ngesandla ephupheni kunokuba bubungqina bokuthembana, ukubambisana, kunye nenkxaso yeemvakalelo phakathi kwakho nabantu abasondeleyo kuwe.
   Lo mbono unokuzisa isiqinisekiso kwaye ukwenze uzive wonwabile kwaye ukhululekile.

Ukubona umntu omthandayo elele ephupheni

1. Ukulangazelela kunye nostalgia: Lo mbono usenokubonisa iimvakalelo zakho ezinzulu ngakulo mntu, kunye nomnqweno wakho wokunxibelelana nokusondela kuye.
2. Umnqweno wokusondelana: Ukuba umthanda ngokunzulu lo mntu, ngoko ukubona eli phupha kunokubonakalisa umnqweno wakho wokwakha ubuhlobo obuqinileyo kunye nozinzile kunye naye.
3. Ukuxhalaba kunye namathandabuzoKwezinye iimeko, lo mbono unokubonisa amathandabuzo akho okanye inkxalabo malunga nobudlelwane bakho nomntu ekuthethwa ngaye.
4. Umnqweno wokunxibelelana ngokweemvakalelo: Lo mbono ubonisa umnqweno wakho wokunxibelelana ngokunzulu nangokusondeleyo nomntu omthandayo.
5. Ukhuseleko kunye lula: Lo mbono usenokufuzisela imvakalelo yonqabiseko nentuthuzelo xa usecaleni komntu omthandayo.

Ukutolikwa kwephupha malunga nokubona umntu omthandayo lusizi

Ukubona umntu omthandayo edabukisayo ephupheni kunokuba luphawu lokudakumba ukuba umphuphi uhlangabezana nenyani, kwaye ufuna kangakanani inkxaso kunye noncedo.
Ukubona umntu omthandayo evakalisa intlungu yakhe kusenokubonisa iimeko zakhe ezinzima okanye iingxaki ezingokwengqondo ajamelana nazo.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuphupha ukubona umntu omthandayo ebuhlungu kunokutolikwa njengophawu lokukhululeka kunye nolonwabo oluzayo.
Ukuba umntu odabukileyo ephupheni ungumthandi womfazi ongatshatanga, iphupha lingaba ngumqondiso wokusondela komhla womtshato kunye nokuphela kweentlungu kunye nokukhathazeka.

Ukuba intombazana izibona ephupheni ithanda umntu obonisa ukudabuka okukhulu, oku kunokuthetha ukuba kukho ukungaboni ngasonye phakathi kwabo ngokwenene, kodwa iphupha libonisa ukulungiswa kwezo zingavumelani kunye nokubuya koxolo kubudlelwane.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukubona umntu ephupheni ebuhlungu kuchazwa njengeendaba ezilungileyo zokufika kokukhululeka kunye neendaba ezilungileyo.
Eli phupha linokuba luphawu lokuzalisekiswa kweminqweno kunye nokukhululeka kwimeko yomphuphi, ngaphezu kokukhululeka kunye nokulula kwiindawo zobomi bakhe.

Ukutolikwa kwephupha malunga nomntu omthandayo ohambahambayo

- Iintsingiselo ezilungileyo:

Iitoliki ziyavuma ukuba ukubona umntu omthandayo ehamba ephupheni kuhambisana neentsingiselo ezintle, njengempumelelo kunye nenkqubela phambili eya kufunyanwa ngumhambi ngamnye.
Eli phupha linokuba ngumqondiso wokuba umntu othandekayo uya kuba nekamva elithembisayo nelonwabileyo.

-Indlela yokuvala:

Ukuphupha ngomntu omthandayo ohambahambayo kunokufuzisela ubuhlobo obusondeleyo onalo naloo mntu.
Eli phupha linokuba luphawu lokuthembela kunye nokusondelana ozivayo kumntu omthandayo, kunye nomnqweno wakho wokwabelana ngamava obomi kunye naye.

-Ikamva lomtshato wam:

Olunye utoliko olunxulumene nephupha malunga nomntu omthandayo ohambahambayo lunxulumene nokwenzeka kwesiganeko somtshato kwixesha elizayo elingekude.
Lo mbono usenokuba ngumqondiso omhle wokuba isithandwa sisenokuba sikulungele ukutshata nokwakha intsapho eyonwabileyo.

-Utshintsho kunye nohlaziyo:

Iphupha malunga nomntu othanda ukuhamba lingaba luphawu lotshintsho oluhle kunye noshintsho ebomini bomntu ohambahambayo.
Lithuba lokuqala isahluko esitsha kunye nohlaziyo olunokuthi lusebenze njengesango kumathuba amatsha kunye nemingeni ekulindeleyo.